Week Ending: Ashcroft has independence on his mind; Clarion man’s got talent

WITH the independence debate dominating, Week Ending thought it would ask the learned economist and pro.manchester top bod John Ashcroft to consider the implications of Manchester flying solo.

So with his tongue not a million miles away from his cheek, here are his pros and cons:

The Argument for …

If we could vote for the independence of Manchester, we could make more of Manchester’s wealth, talent and resources for the benefit of the people who live in Greater Manchester.

Free from the yoke of Whitehall fiscal oppression, we would develop a stronger economy, with more jobs. Our people would get a fairer return for their hard work and efforts.

We would improve childcare, make the tax system fairer, cut energy costs, abolish business rates, scrap the iniquitous bedroom tax and introduce free deep fried Mars bars for all.

Independence is about improving the quality of life for all people across Manchester, even in Wigan and Rochdale. We would be able to take decisions on our economy designed for Manchester’s needs and based on our own priorities.

With independence we would have all the powers we need to to make life better for the people who live and work here. Utopia would present a dire comparison to the new world we would be able to create stretching from Stretford to Oldham, the Yorkshire frontier and beyond.

I and a few close friends would be able to secure top jobs with generous pensions and considerable spending allowance. Manchester would be in a better place altogether and so would I for that matter!

The Argument Against …

On the other hand, we must accept, a yes vote would create some levels of uncertainty about the future especially over the three years of transition to an independent state. Some of our top businesses may decide to re locate elsewhere. We would have to accept £50bn of government debt plus the cost of some PFI schemes, the M602 and the £50m we just spent on the Central Library.

Where would the money come from, to pay for the tax and spending cuts, you may ask? Well, we are not quite sure yet. Some money would have to come from fracking in Farnworth and increased canal tariffs into the River Irwell.

We cannot be sure of the future revenue stream from fracking so we may have to burn the coal fields of Lancashire to extract the underground gas. This would risk a lowering of the levels of Lancashire below sea level, exposing the countryside to a tidal wave moving from Ormskirk to the West but there is a price to pay for independence after all.

We would have to increase defence expenditure. To secure borders we would partition Warrington with Merseyside, annex the northern states of Nelson, Burnley and Colne, developing access, (via Preston and the Fylde) to the warm water port of Blackpool. Then we would impose tax, tariff and migration control barriers on the M62 motorway, later ring fencing the M60 as an inner defensive perimeter.

There would be some uncertainty about the currency. We would be unwilling or unable to keep the pound. We may be unable to join the European Union. They may include a small state exclusion clause specifically for Cheadle, Catalonia and the Celts. We would probably also be unable to join the eurozone, thus unable to benefit from the dubious privileges of a common European currency.

So what are the benefits?

Well, the referendum would be a choice between two futures for Manchester. We can choose independence which would put Manchester’s future in Manchester hands. Or we can leave the big decisions on Manchester’s economy and the future shape of our economy in the hands of Westminster and those posh public school toffs in the South.

I know which way I would vote but then I get the top job if the vote goes through. Let’s hope the people of Manchester don’t see through that!

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In other news Michael Brooke, a financial planner at Knutsford-based Clarion Wealth Planning is making his small screen debut on BBC2’s Eggheads quiz show tonight.

His team, the Victoria Plums (named after the Victoria Club in his hometown of Holmes Chapel), took on the nation’s most formidable quiz team in an episode which is to be aired for the first time at 6.30pm tonight.

Mike is sworn to secrecy as to the result of the show, which is hosted by ITV newsman Dermot Murnaghan, and the level of jackpot for which the Plums were competing. We’re pretty certain about one thing though – his real specialist subjects, pensions and retirement planning, are unlikely to have featured too highly on the question list.