Duckers & Diving: Lofty takes the plunge
THIS week our hirsute newshound reflects on multi-national alliances and kayaking mishaps.
THE launch of a Birmingham China Student Business Club sounded a bit serious when the invitation came in – especially as it is a Chinese tea reception rather than the usual champers.
It arrives via Far East expert Mike Loftus … him of the highly impressive Confucian moustache.
Takes place at Birmingham Hippodrome on Friday February 8 from 12-2 and Loftus suggests that it might be an opportunity for me “to partake of the dim sum and then tootle along to the Old Joint Stock afterwards filled with eastern delights”.
Ah, now the offer is getting more appealing.
Speakers include Gisela Stuart, MP, CBI regional chairman Adrian Shooter, ‘me old China’ John Rider, of the Institute of Directors; and Dr Yeow Poon, head of the England China Business Forum and chairman of the Chinese Community Centre Birmingham.
The aim is to build long-term champions for Birmingham in China by introducing aspiring Chinese students to the business and civic networks of the city.
Chinese sweet and savoury buns; traditional costumes and dances.
Appropriate really as Loftus – whose figure indicates a liking for buns – reveals how he created quite a splash when visiting Vietnam for Christmas.
He reveals: “On Christmas Day morning, only concession to the season a red Santa Claus hat on me head, I am about to spend the day kayaking in Halong Bay – voted last year to be one of the seven new wonders of the world on account of its astounding geology.
“First time ever in a kayak, mark you. The plan is double kayaking but we are an odd number. So the guide asks who might care to kayak as a singleton and my thoughtful and caring daughters volunteer me.
“Snuggling down and balancing myself into said kayak, the inevitable happens and a significant – but none too threatening – tsunami spreads across the Gulf of Tonkin as 15-odd stone of Loftus exits the kayak through the side door into the waters of the celebrated new wonder of the world.”
Oh dear.
The affable Mackem goes on: “I try to take it all in good part to the extent that the guide later tells the group – ‘Mike is just like the happy Buddha – he is always laughing and he has such a big belly’. Well, Good Morning, Vietnam, to you too!”
Let’s hope the club launch is more of a success – after all, what could possibly go wrong?
