Duckers & Diving: Will Jones get the Sack?

THIS week our befuddled Bacchanalian samples a different kind of spirit by getting into the festive mood.

Lou Jones and husband Chris Monk have an idiosyncratic way of celebrating Christmas and cementing their love.

Each draws up a list of presents they would like … and gives it to the other.

“This has the advantage that you get what you want but don’t know what you are getting,” she points out.

His list mostly features items for when out ‘potting partridge’ at posh shoots.

A fleece-lined shirt to keep him warm and tweed cap to make him look distinguished.

Plus a tripod for his camera with which, presumably, to photograph the carnage!

By comparison, Lou’s list is a comparatively one; pink champagne – to which she is virtually addicted – some Bendicks mints and a couple of CDs.

He says this is not good enough and she should come up with something more substantial. (What a bloke – the rest of us would be at the bar celebrating how lightly we had escaped!)

So she has – both keen walkers, she is fed up with his moaning about having to carry the rucksack. Why can’t she have her own?

Hence the list has risen by one – rucksack.

But not any old rucksack, it has to be a Hermes rucksack.

Which poses a mighty challenge to the man in her life as Hermes doesn’t make rucksacks.Duckers and Diving

So, can Monkey pull something out of the bag (as it were)?

We shall see; buy whatever clever wheeze he comes up with I fear it is going to be expensive.

Remember Chris, the state pension doesn’t go far these days!