Friday Funnies: Boardman has business community in stitches
RESIDENT blogger John Duckers picks through the highlights from the Karl Ward Sporting Luncheon held in Birmingham.
LAUGHTER all the way with Liverpool comedian Stan Boardman at yesterday’s Karl Ward Sporting Luncheon.
Not a sportsman in sight, albeit Boardman signed for Tranmere Rovers as a teenager – it’s always a funny man at the Christmas event.
But the business community packed Opus restaurant, with the controversial Boardman on good form.
Someone’s mobile phone goes off: “That will be the police – they’ve heard there’s a Scouser in town.”
And so it went on.
“This Scouser comes out of Tesco with a leg of lamb. The security guard stops him. ‘What are you doing with that?’ Says the Scouser ‘Roast potatoes, carrots, cauliflower…..”
I think we’ll skip over the one about Terry Waite and the Mastermind subject, Lebanese radiators 1987 to 1991.
In the depths of the Troubles in Northern Ireland, a bomber goes into this pet shop and shouts ‘You’ve got 10 seconds to get out’. The parrot says: “It doesn’t given the tortoise much of a chance.”
Bloke goes into this restaurant and orders octopus soup for starters. The waiter informs him there is a three and a half hour wait.
Why’s that, says the customer. Says the waiter: “It keeps turning off the gas.”
And the golfing one I particularly liked: “I’m a member of Royal Toxteth. If you get a hole in one you win a skip.”
The ASAP PR table just about cleaned out the raffle prizes.
John Rider, West Midlands chairman of the Institute of Directors, walked away with a meal for two at Opus.
Fiona Thomson, real estate partner at DLA Piper, won a magnum of champagne.
“It will come in handy if you’ve got a boat to launch next week”, quips entertainer Barry Williams.
Next event is on March 1 and March 2 with former rugby greats Bill Beaumont and Gareth Chilcott the star turn.
Boardman: “The chef has already started on the potatoes for that one.”
Boom! Boom!
