Duckers & Diving: Letters Be ‘aving You!

A TALE of larceny involving one of Birmingham’s iconic buildings occupies the thoughts of our celebrated columnist this week.
News reaches me of a shocking robbery close to the new Library of Birmingham.
For this news today I am indebted to Mike Loftus, of News from the Future, inward investment specialist for China and all things Far East.
He tells me: “Outside Baskerville House on the Cambridge Street side, there is a rather magnificent piece of masonry with a fine bit of lettering that spells out BASKERVILLE HOUSE.
“Except that when I walked past it last night en route to the newly opened Rep, it spelt out BASKE_V__L _ H__S_.
“So, either someone is assembling a finely crafted Countdown set of their own (and r, i, l, o, u, e is a challenging set of vowels and consonants to play with – over to you in Dictionary Corner) or some tea-leaf inspired by the looming presence of the new Library has decided to become quite literally ‘a man of letters’.”
And he adds: “If the latter I trust we hear the stern voice of the law apprehending the villain with the immortal phrase ‘Letters be ‘aving you, sunbeam’.”
Boom! Boom!