Duckers & Diving: Newbon On the Ball Down Under

THE ravings of our rotund reporter are spreading Down Under; this week Duckers catches up with a well-known TV sports presenter of this parish who rather than bask in the Sydney sunshine prefers to find out what’s happening in a drizzly Birmingham.

News reaches me that Gary Newbon has been reading this column while basking in the Aussie sun – as you do.

No word yet whether the bush fires have singed his delicate derrière, but it’s lovely to hear from him nonetheless – even if he is behind the times.

He emails me to say he’s enjoying reading the John Bright Column, which actually finished in 2008 – still I suppose being five years behind is pretty good by his standards!

He writes: “Enjoyed reading stories on my great friend Tim Watts and other mates while sipping a large beer with Mrs Newbon in Darling Harbour as Sydney sweltered in 37 degrees!

“As I chuckled my new found friend, an ex-Rugby League player, asked ‘What’s so funny mate?’ I explained ‘you wouldn’t get it, mate, English humour – anyway time for you to get the beers in, good chap’!”

That’s what I like to hear – that’s the way to treat the convicts.

But as usual the great man needs a plug – something he gets in return for free taxi trips home from various events for my good self.

Yes, I know, I have no shame.

He states: “The purpose of my missive is to confirm that 400 places have already been sold for the annual Lord Taverners Christmas Lunch, Gary Newbon and his Sporting Friends, at Warwickshire Cricket Club’s Edgbaston ground on Thursday December 5.”

He reckons it will be a sell-out for the 12th successive year but a few extra tables might still be squeezed in if people are quick.

So there you go – get on the blower fast. Always a terrific occasion.

Tickets are £55 each and it runs from reception drinks at 12.15pm to the conclusion, loosely billed as being somewhere between 3.30pm and 4pm but this depends on whether they can shut Newbon up at some point!

For those interested, please contact Hannah Weaver at westmidlands@lordstaverners.org or call 07876 702707 to book.

Personally, I want to hear what the lad has to say about Alex Ferguson’s new book and all those criticised in it. Newbon’s pitch side interviews with Fergie were always sensational.

Whatever, our host promises that the event will be extra special.

“Even by the usual high standards of the President – that’s me! – it has a really big name topping the bill,” he adds.

Ah, modesty … always Gary’s Achilles heel.

Then again, maybe it is Fergie!