Week Ending: ‘You say KP, I say MG!’; channeling Whitney

THERE was a big gig in London the other week. Sir Bob Geldof was there, along with Madness and Florence and the Machine.

But it wasn’t a follow-up to Live 8, it was KPMG’s staff get-together.

The “Big Four” accountancy group shut its offices for a day and hired the O2 Arena for its 12,000 employees as well as the contract staff, like cleaners and caterers.

According to our mole, most staff were cynical as they trooped down to London in regulation purple t-shirts on a chartered train. When chairman Simon Collins came on to the stage they steeled themselves for a day of power point presentations and management-speak.

“It was a massive risk bringing everyone together,” said Mr Collins, before inexplicably introducing the chart star Tine Tempah who got everyone going with a call and response routine along the lines of, “you say KP, I say MG!”

Lenny Henry was the compere and there were motivational talks by Jamie Oliver and 7/7 survivor and Paralympian Martine Wright. There was even an X-Factor-style competition for staff and a pre-recorded sketch involving the senior board and actor Jessica Hynes reprising her role as Siobhan Sharpe, Head of Brand, in the Olympics spoof Twenty Twelve.

Unbelievable. KPMG will soon be a near neighbour of ours when the firm moves to St Peter’s Square. I hope they keep the noise down.

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AT an event hosted by the property news website Place North West last week, Colliers International’s Michael Hawkins wasn’t taking any prisoners.

When asked for a “big picture” view on Manchester’s property market 30 or 40 years in the future, he said: “You’re asking about 35 years ahead. Who cares?”

Place editor and host Paul Unger channeled his inner Whitney Houston. “But think about the children… They’re our future.”