Friday Funnies: Whitby goes all bashful

A CITY council leader’s penchant for fine Cuban cigars comes under the watchful eye of blogger John Duckers this week.

Could you meet the cigar challenge? Well, actually you won’t have to.
I had sort of persuaded Birmingham City Council leader Mike Whitby to put up 10 Cohiba cigars in a special offer to be auctioned off for charity via TheBusinessDesk.com and duckersanddivng. Supposedly, top of the range.

They came into the great man’s possession following his annual holiday in Barbados and a meeting with Cuban representatives there.

Whitby used to be a cigar smoker but says he has now been ‘civilised’. Something to do with the ‘medical police’, I fear.

His preference was Montecristo Number 4 – and he is not revealing whether they were rolled on the thigh of a curvaceous Cuban maiden. Probably wouldn’t go down well with wife Gaynor!

“I was only a 20 a year man,” he reveals – that’s cigars not maidens! “I enjoy the aroma.”

It took him two and a half hours to smoke each one. But back to the ‘competition’… the trouble is there seemed to be a doubt over whether the things were smoke-able.

I don’t know much about cigars and thought all Cohibas came only from the finest tobacco leaves.

But, it seems, that is not quite true and they vary somewhat.

Hence, a certain reluctance in Whitby circles for a cigar competition, presumably in case we ‘killed’ the winner – wouldn’t look good on the CV – and ruined the reputation of the charity.

Apart from, of course, in these days when smoking is verboten, the ethics of the whole thing being a touch dubious. (Never quite understood what the problem was – surely smokers are to be encouraged because they die younger and therefore cost our NHS and social services less not more).
Anyway, sorry folks, would have been ‘quite a draw’ (boom! boom!), but those cigars will just have to be found an even more dubious home.

• For more questionable gossip, tittle tattle and trivia from the region’s business community see Duckers & Diving.