Managing Workplace Stress and Protecting Your Relationships
The corporate world is always ‘on’, and the boundaries between our professional and personal lives often feel blurred. More than ever, it feels as though we constantly need to be connected to our work and the work day stress we feel can linger on well past clock-out time. The further up the corporate ladder you go and the bigger your business becomes, the more that stress can permeate into the relationships you have outside the office.
Research shows that detachment and disengaging from work when we leave is critical for recovery from stress and burnout and preventing our relationships from becoming emotionally draining. Over time, this constant stress and pressure can result in us withdrawing from loved ones and putting a strain on our relationships.
So, how can you balance your work and personal life more effectively and ensure that any stress or worry you feel is removed before you go home at night?
Work On Your Communication
One of the most effective strategies for managing workplace stress is to find ways to communicate more efficiently, not only with your partner and loved ones but with colleagues too. Empowered communication can help you set yourself up for success.
When entering a conversation, be clear about what you want from the situation or the other person, whether that’s a colleague’s advice or sympathy, or simply a partner acting as a sounding board for your frustrations. If communication is an area where you or your partner tend to fall down, it can help to work with a couples counsellor to develop better strategies for communicating, to avoid arguments and prevent stress coming between you.
Pinpoint What Calm and Stress Look Like For You
The more you understand the signs of stress creeping up, the better prepared you are to put a stop to it before it takes over. Often, we don’t realise what feelings we’re experiencing in the moment which can make it hard to know how to deal with it – if you’ve been in overdrive for months, do you even know what calm and stress-free really feels like for you? When you’re stressed by work, you might shut down and become numb and isolated, or you might become angry and irritable.
Once you own what feeling stressed looks like for you, you take back control of the situation and can change the dynamic. It’s all about taking a step back, acknowledging whatever you’re feeling in the moment and working on changing the trajectory of the situation. Maybe that looks like saying to your partner “I need 30 minutes to calm down before we connect”, or explaining to friends that you’ve had a stressful day at work and could you opt for a low-key evening rather than something that will leave you wired and unable to relax.
Make The Transition From Work to Home
Making the transition from “I’m in work mode” to “It’s time to relax” can be hard for a lot of us – it’s easy to ruminate on the events of the day or worry about what you have to do tomorrow. But overthinking doesn’t change your to-do list and it can make decompressing after work difficult, or even impossible, which puts a strain on your personal relationships. If you work outside of the home, consider using your commute as a way to wind down and be intentional about how you use that time to relax and switch focus.
For those who work remotely, delineating between those two worlds can be harder but it’s still achievable. Create a routine that signals to your mind that you’re in home-mode now, whether that’s changing out of your work clothes into a different outfit, making yourself a snack and a drink, or going for a walk to get fresh air and clear your head before enjoying the evening with your family or friends so you can be fully present with them.
Be Honest About Your Capacity
Regardless of the source of stress, you both need to be honest about your capacity for emotional processing. Whether it’s a partner, a sibling or a friend, you’re likely an important emotional resource for the loved ones in your life and they are for you, but no-one’s patience is unlimited. Sometimes, you or your loved ones may want to offload their frustrations or worries and you’re simply too depleted to be tactful or helpful in that situation, which can result in arguments and hurt feelings.
In these moments, honesty is the best policy. Explain to them that you don’t have the capacity to handle anything more for the day, and come to a compromise – a 10 minute debrief of what’s on their mind and then you both put work aside for the rest of the day and relax. It gives them (or you) a chance to get whatever it is off your chest and then you can both put it behind you.
Let Your Employer Know What’s Going On
If your work stress is becoming uncontrollable and you feel constantly overwhelmed, to the point of it impacting your wellbeing and your personal life, it’s time to speak up. Schedule a meeting with your manager and let them know that you feel like your workload has become unmanageable, so they can work with you to ease the stress you’re experiencing.
Long-term stress isn’t conducive to productivity and will ultimately have a negative impact on all areas of your life, Suitable importance needs to be given to your ability to work effectively, your mental health and both your personal and professional relationships, before a situation gets out of control.
It can be hard enough to deal with stress in the workplace, but you don’t want it to start impacting your personal life as well. Once you’re noticing the signs of stress having a negative impact on your relationships, it’s important to take suitable action quickly. Seek help in finding ways to communicate more effectively, identify what stress looks like for you and know when to take a step back and make more beneficial long-term changes.
