Friday Funnies: Tails cocktails leave Yanks shaken but not stirred
THIS week gossip columnist and man-about-town John Duckers discovers how a ready-to-drink cocktail business from the West Midlands left Americans shaken but not stirred.
SMALL business campaigner Peter Wall is clearly not finding the difficult economic times too demanding having just got back from a one week cruise up the Rhine.
Basle, Strasbourg, Heidelberg, Cologne, Amsterdam … beats the Grand Union Canal.
Just one complaint – the passengers were 90% American. Bored with doing the Mississippi presumably.
So much so that Wall is versed in all the gags – one in three Americans weigh more than the other two; Americans come in two sizes … huge and petite.
Boom! Boom!
And all, of course, fascinated by the Royal Wedding of Wills and Kate … for which some had to get up at 4am to watch on their TVs.
Yank: “Gee, what did you think of Kate’s dress, Peter?”
Wall: “Actually, old boy, I have to admit I was playing golf that morning.”
Inevitably, they looked at him disbelieving.
However, they were rather more impressed by son Nick’s Tails Cocktails business.
(Both, like me, are Uppinghamians; good school and the odd illicit tipple, I seem to recall)
They are ready-made cocktails which come complete in an authentic-looking shaker, largely aimed at the drinks at home market.
Shake, stick in a bit of ice … and imbibe.
Even I can work that out!
They’re going a bomb apparently – they’ve already been taken up by Harvey Nicks, Selfridges, swanky London store Heals and online giant Ocado.
“The Americans loved it,” proclaims Peter.
Yes, I can see the appeal.
The business employs four people and has just won its first export order – to the yacht/villa set in Ibiza.
The Manufacturing Advisory Service – West Midlands advised the company on setting up.
The marketing blurb highlights “a sophisticated cocktail and berry fruits, made with Italian Triple See and premium grain French Vodka”.
Party time or a girls’ night out.
And all Americans welcome.
• For more questionable gossip, tittle tattle and trivia from Birmingham’s business community see Duckers & Diving
