Friday Funnies: Hastilow outlines a political plot

MAN about town John Duckers takes a look at a new book by his former editor for this week’s blog.

I HEAR Nigel Hastilow, my old editor at The Birmingham Post, one of the few who were any good, has finally turned to completely making stuff up!

Always fascinated by politics, he has written a novel, a political farce called The Smoking Gun which was launched on Bonfire Night…..and one hopes the thing avoids the same fate.

A brilliant, if somewhat racy style, and the fastest writers I have met, he was once a political journalist before later in his career twice failing miserably to become a Tory MP – a terrible waste because all his friends, and no doubt he himself, thought the Commons would be his natural home.

Pretty much all his own fault, mind you…..feet and shooting spring to mind.

It is Hastilow’s first novel albeit he did produce a book of political essays, Tomorrow’s England.

He claims it took him a year to write half of the tome and a week – while on holiday – to complete it.

“I really enjoyed doing it.”

The usual fanciful blurb tells me: “In The Smoking Gun, Hastilow offers a provocative insight into the workings of the political system woven within an ever-twisting, thoroughly humorous plot.

“Why is MP Acton Trussell being forced to resign? Why does the Prime Minister want lipstick lesbian Lucy Loxley (try saying that in a hurry) in Parliament?

“Will the Coalition’s ‘fixer’ Compton Dundon help Clifford Chambers slither up the greasy pole? Who planted the smoking gun?

“Nigel Hastilow romps through the corridors of power and the streets of a Midlands town as the Coalition Government faces a crucial by-election in the safe seat of Barset.

“As old loyalties are tested and new alliances formed, is this low politics, high farce – or both?”

A romp, eh! Not something with which the urbane Nigel would traditionally be associated, though most politicians are usually pretty adept.

But, actually having glanced at an excerpt, the tale is quite decent.

Anyway, I must read the thing just in case I recognise myself or any of the other Post staff of the day hidden among the characters.

For example, the only person I ever came across with the first name of Compton was a now deceased lay-out man and sub-editor on the paper.

Nigel says it actually emanates from the name of some Somerset village where he played cricket once. And we all know that Acton Trussell is a Staffordshire village.
Whereas the village Trussell lives in is Howard Michael – former Tory leader Michael Howard. OK, that’s enough villages.

Oh, and fingers crossed this politics/novels thing does not follow the course of that old rogue Lord Archer.

I am sure it won’t but all the same I do hope I don’t have to visit Nigel in Birmingham Prison any time soon. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Anyway, perhaps I shall persuade my children to get me the book for Christmas.

• For more questionable gossip, tittle tattle and trivia from the region’s business community see Duckers & Diving.